Another Auld Lang Syne
So, we have come to that time again, the time when our Facebook feeds are full of the various accomplishments of friends and family as they look back on the past year and welcome the next. I scroll through my feed and celebrate with my friends who have run marathons. Who have been promoted. Who have gotten married. Gotten pregnant. Lost weight. Friends who have moved. Friends who have traveled. Bought houses. Sold houses. Built houses.
When I look back on the past year, it is hard not to see overwhelming failure. Sure, there were many good days, but on the billboard of my 2025, they are small font compared to the shouty capital letters jeering at me like middle school playground bullies:
YOU LOST YOUR JOB.
YOU GAINED WEIGHT.
YOU FOUGHT WITH YOUR HUSBAND.
YOU FOUGHT WITH YOURSELF.
YOU LET DEPRESSION WIN AGAIN.
YOU CRIED…A LOT. LIKE, AN EMBARRASSING AMOUNT.
DID WE MENTION YOU LOST YOUR JOB???
My predominant emotion stepping into 2026 is fear. When it comes right down to it, I am a coward. I know this year will bring terrifying things, even if most of them are good, and while I should be full of optimism, I confess I am finding myself ill-equipped to face the days and months ahead. My instinct the past few weeks has been to hide, not leaving my house for days at a time, barely able to summon the strength to get out of bed.
I don’t feel worthy of the world right now, but I know that can change. So, if there is one request I have for whomever or whatever is listening out there in the universe, it is this:
Help me be brave again. Help me find the courage I will need to face the year ahead. The courage to put myself forward in the job market. The courage to suck at something new. The courage to speak up, to lead, even if I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
At the very least, help me find the courage to stop hiding.